For some, December is the most exciting month of the year; for others, one they dread. Now is a good time to remember that as with anything, December is what you make of it. The thoughts you
have, decide what feelings you harbour.
If we want to feel calm and happy in December then we must decide to be calm and happy and plan for
it.
The golden question that we often forget to ask ourselves and don't even spend a minute contemplating is: What do I want?
Oh the nerve it takes to ask this question instead of just running around doing all the things we think we should do or, conversely, wasting energy hating the whole thing!
What do you want? There is so much power in this simple question? Your holidays could be a delightful time if you plan it as you would any project:
- Step 1: Be crystal clear about what you want. Just sit for a few minutes and ponder these questions: What do
I want to experience this December? What would a lovely Christmas Eve look like? Christmas Day? Boxing Day? Whether you celebrate Christmas or not, you can plan these days. Who do you want to see or not see? What activities do you want to do (creative projects, books to read, films to watch, long walks, freshen up your home, get rid of clothes that you don't wear anymore, see a show, play games)? What food do you want to eat? What outing would be wonderful?
- Step 2: Plan it! What do you need to book, buy or organise? Take your paper diary and write down what needs
to happen and when. Listing the tasks in your diary will have an instantly calming effect if only because you are no longer face with a long list whirling in your head all the time. Schedule your walks, your creative time, your movies, your reading time, the shopping trips, not just events and gatherings.
- Step 3: Communicate it! Who do you need to tell? People might be surprisingly supportive of
your choices but they just need to know. This is a time for demanding what you want. This is not a favour you are asking. Do you need to ask for help? Be assertive and specific, i.e. "I would be grateful if you could bring the dessert". People are not mind readers;
they don't know what you want or what you need unless you tell them explicitly. Tell them and listen; find a compromise that sounds like a win-win for all concerned.
Alone or with company, make the time to plan the month in a way that will make you happy. View December as a vast space that you get to fill with things you like doing without rushing, without exhausting yourself. Even if it is a busy time for you, ask yourself what you could do that would feel nourishing.
The pandemic forced me to celebrate Christmas differently last year and I loved it. I planned an early afternoon delicious Christmas Eve meal with the boys followed by quiz games that I chose to match our individual interests. We had a great time and I was glad to spend Christmas Day and Boxing day mostly on my own, leafing through books, watching films, daydreaming, journaling and not cooking much. No
travelling at all. I can travel at a different time, without the constraints and loaded expectations.
Expectations might lead us to disappointment but careful planning will get us close to what we really want. Get planning, my friend! Ignore the news — this week drove me to despair and anger although I only look at the headlines but bloody hell!... Visualise what you want and calmly implement your plan. Is it time for new
rituals? Our circumstances evolve all the time and it is madness to expect things to be the same forever or to keep doing things you don't enjoy. At some point, we can't re-create what was once wonderful; we can only create a new kind of wonderful. For me, curling up with
an easy book, wrapped in a throw, a hot cocoa topped with marshmallows nearby and candles burning all day is some kind of
wonderful.
Next time, I will send you the 'Honouring Your Story 7th Edition' PDF.
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