How are you? Here in the UK, we are experiencing a heatwave and I feel drained of any energy, so I am listening to my body and faffing about (for non-UK readers this means ​to spend time doing things in a way that is not well organized and that does not achieve much). I have been thinking of the notion of disconnect lately. Because I feel a disconnect between life as it is presented in the media and the one I want to live, I see a disconnect between the government and people’s lives and I notice a disconnect between how valuable time is and how we squander it, I am looking closely at what I want my life to look like from now on. 

This summer, I disconnected from social media and email. One day, I just decided not to check my emails and the next day and the next, and before I knew it, it had been five weeks. I can’t say that I am really checking them thoroughly now and I am not caught up yet. I have forgotten how to live with email and I don’t miss it. My goal this autumn is to curate my inbox so that I don’t feel overwhelmed by it.

I was happy to be in Brittany for a while and I felt such a disconnect between the life there and my own. When you meet someone you know there, you just sit at a café terrace and chat. In London, if you want to see someone, you must plan it weeks in advance and you end up staying more and more at home, because you are too tired to travel to meet up. 

Sometimes I feel that life as we live it is absurd and I increasingly want to disconnect. I don’t think you will see me on social media for a long time. I just want to focus on my well-being and my house, read, create art and just generally, faff about.

(“To get up in the morning without the Queen being around, always distant but ever present, will be like living beneath a different sky,” Anthony Lane wrote, about Elizabeth II, who died a year ago and, oh, this is so true.)

3 QUOTES

• "We need time to defuse, to contemplate. Just as in sleep our brains relax and give us dreams, so at some time in the day we need to disconnect, reconnect, and look around us." Laurie Colwin

• ”Faffing is good. It is an important part of life. Faffing is when we disconnect from the matrix and idle for a while, like a car. Our body and spirit know deep down that human beings were not made for constant toil so subconsciously creates space through the mechanism of faffing."  Tom Hodgkinson

• ”I think I've always had a disconnect from what I'm supposed to be like.” Kristen Schaal
  
   

2 IDEAS

• Your environment can either be an ally or an enemy. Every single object carries its load of significance: where you bought them, who you were and what your life was like then, etc. To start with, throw the obvious mementos that trigger negative feelings into a box and store them out of sight, or better still, get rid of them by donating or trashing them. You’re not erasing history; you’re making room for the way you want to be and feel. "Out of sight, out of mind" is rooted in the psychological understanding that our environment influences us. So get that emotional dustpan out and start sweeping away the clutter. Bit by bit, introduce items that truly feel like you. Even a change of cushion covers can be empowering.
   
• Live a more analogue life as much as you can. Always carry a book so that if you have a few minutes in a waiting room, a queue or a train, you can immerse yourself into a world you've chosen rather than look at your phone and be subjected to the one others display. Find a mindful habit that gives you a mental pause, a way to reconnect with yourself. For me, it's tea. Just a sip and I feel more grounded. Have a hobby that makes you feel happy and make time for it regularly. Teach others to function without you.

1 QUESTION

What is the disconnect between who you are/what your life looks like 

and what you would like them to be?

Valerie 

http://valeriemarsh.com