As women, we are always very careful not to appear selfish. We run around looking after everybody, doing work and housework, smoothing relationship issues within the family, doing all we can to keep everyone happy, and still we think that spending a few minutes or hours on something we love might appear selfish. The thought should make us laugh if it wasn't making us cry...

 

It was something that Julia Cameron — the human goddess of creativity — wrote in Walking in this World that prompted me to mention it to you. She writes,

 

She says, “Stop being nice, be honest”. 

 

If you were being honest with yourself and others, what would you say you need right now? 

 

Do you need more sleep? Do you need a few hours by yourself out of the house? Do you need to express your creativity through your favourite hobby? Do you need a walk or a fitness session? 

 

How can you fill up your cup so that your Self feels cared for and expressed?

 

When we don’t take care of our Self, we might become cranky, short-tempered or depressed. We hurt.  And we might hurt others as our words can turn sharp or our actions damaging. We don’t mean to harm them but we might do, just like others might harm us without meaning to, yet they do because they haven’t taken care of themselves (their Selves).

 

Obviously, you sometimes have to compromise and put your own needs and desires into second place whenever needed at home or at work. The goal here is to keep a healthy balance between your own needs and those of other people.

 

I’d love for women to stop asking themselves, “Am I being selfish here?”, and start asking instead, “Am I being selfish enough?”. 

 

Am I having enough fun?
Am I expressing my Self enough?
Am I allowing myself to have passion?
Am I caring for my physical self enough?
Am I creating enough opportunities for delight? 
Am I protecting myself from being unfairly criticised, abused, or exploited?

 

Remember that there has to be a healthy balance between our responsibilities and our needs. This doesn't mean spending equal time on both but making sure that both are being addressed. 

 

If one of these questions created a noticeable tightening within yourself when you read it, then it might be an area that needs urgent intervention.  

 

Be gentle with yourself, listen to yourself. Yes it is a juggling act and as with anything, the more we practice, the better we become.

May you and I be safe, may you and I be happy, may you and I be healthy, may you and I be at peace.